IF I HAD KNOWN AT THE VERY YOUNG AGE OF 18 THAT I WOULD GET DRUNK AT A SHORTY SMALLS RESTUARANT WITH A GROUP OF PEOPLE I HAD NO BUSINESS HANGING OUT WITH AND ALLOW ONE OF THOSE DRUNK PEOPLE TO DRIVE ME HOME IN MY CAR AND ON OUR WAY SIDE SWIPE A HUMMER LEADING INTO A YARD AND 10 FEET AWAY FROM A FAMILY'S DOOR AND THE CRASH ITSELF CAUSING ME 2 WEEKS OF A HOSPITAL STAY AND ACHES AND PAIN THAT WILL NEVER GO AWAY, I WOULD HAVE MADE A SMARTER DECISION AND NOT ONLY THINK FOR MYSELF BUT I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT TO CALL A CAP OR EVEN MY MOTHER TO COME GET ME AND STAY OF THE ROAD TO KEEP EVERYONE ELSE ON IT SAFE TOO. IF I HAD KNOWN THAT MY HUSBAND TODAY WOULD END UP BEING MY NIGHT AND SHINING ARMOR THE WAY THAT HE WAS AFTER MY ACCIDENT AT 18, I CAN NOT EXPLAIN ENOUGH ABOUT HOW GREAT OF A GUY HE WAS TO ME, HE CAME TO THE HOSPITAL DAILY, HE PRAYED FOR ME, HE HAD OTHERS PRAY FOR ME, HE KISSED ME EVEN WHEN SOME OF MY TEETH WERE CRACKED AND BREAKING FROM THE WRECK AND ONE OF THEM WAS COMPLETELY MISSING, HE TOLD ME I WAS BEAUTIFUL EVEN THOUGH I HAD CUTS ON MY FACE THAT WERE NOT HEALED AND WAS WALKING ON CRUTCHES WITH A LIMP FROM A BROKEN PELVIS, SO IF I HAD KNOWN HE WOULD BE THAT GREAT GUY AND I WOULD MARRY HIM I WOULD NOT HAVE DUMPED HIM BEFORE MY ACCIDENT AND I WOULD HAVE NOT IGNORED HIS PHONE CALLS AND I WOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM THE CHANCE HE DESERVED THE FIRST TIME AROUND. IF I HAD KNOWN THAT MY DAD AT THE VERY YOUNG AGE OF 43 WOULD BE DIAGNOSED WITH A TERMINALLY ILL DISEASE THAT LED TO SOME OF THE MOST HORRIFYING TREATMENTS I HAVE EVER SEEN AND CAUSED HIM TO MISS OUT ON HIS GRAND CHILDREN GROWING UP, AND CAUSED HIM NOT TO BE ABLE TO BE THAT AWESOME FATHER MY BROTHER AND I STILL NEED, I STILL NEEDED HIM TO HELP ME CELEBRATE MY 21ST BIRTHDAY WHICH WAS ONLY 2 MONTHS AFTER HE PASSED AWAY, MY BROTHER NEEDED HIM FOR HIS HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION WHICH WAS ONLY A MONTH AFTER HE PASSED AWAY, I NEEDED HIM TO SEE KYLEE WALK FOR THE FIRST TIME, I NEEDED HIM TO SEE MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER BE BORN AND WATCH HIM KISS AND HUG ALL OVER HER, MY BROTHER NEEDED HIM TO SEE HIM GET MARRIED AND BE HERE TO SEE HIS SON. THERE ARE SO MANY MANY THINGS I STILL NEED MY FATHER FOR TODAY SO IF I HAD KNOWN THAT HE WOULD DIE SO YOUNG I WOULD HAVE TREASURED EVERY MOMENT WITH HIM AND WE WOLD HAVE LIVED AS IF EVERY DAY WAS OUR LAST AND I WOULD HAVE TOLD HIM EVERY DAY THAT HE WAS THE GREATEST PERSON I HAD EVER KNOWN AND I WOULD HAVE ALWAYS TOLD HIM I LOVED HIM NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCE MIGHT HAVE BEEN. IF I HAD KNOWN MY BOSS OF 3 YEARS WOULD TREAT ME AS BADLY AS SHE DID WHEN MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER KAYLOR WAS ADMITTED INTO THE HOSPITAL A FEW MONTHS AGO WITH A URINARY TRACT INFECTION LEADING TO THE STILL QUESTIONABLE DIAGNOSIS OF KIDNEY REFLUX WHICH HAS AFFECTED OUR LIVES IN MANY WAYS, INCLUDING HER HAVING TO TAKE A DAILY DOSE OF ANTIBOTICS EVERYDAY AND BE WATCHED CLOSELY BY HER PEDIATRICIAN AND WE HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL ABOUT THESE INFECTIONS BECAUSE SHE IS SO LITTLE AND THE KIDNEYS ARE SUCH VITAL ORGANS, SO IF I HAD KNOWN SHE WOULD ACT THE WAY SHE DID I WOULD HAVE TOLD HER ASS OFF A LONG TIME BEFORE, AND I WOULD HAVE DEFINITELY NOT CARED ABOUT MY JOB AS MUCH AS I DID AND I WOULD HAVE NOT WORRIED OVER THE DECISION TO QUIT AND IN ALL I WOULD HAVE TOLD HER IN ALL HONESTY THAT SHE WAS ONE OF THE BIGGEST BITCHES I HAVE EVER KNOWN, AND THAT EVERYONE KNOWS SHE HAS HAD A FACE LIFT, A NOSE JOB AND A BOOB OH IIF I HAD ONLY KNOWN THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW MY REGRET WOULD BE VERY MINIMAL TO WHAT IT IS TODAY.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
IF I HAD KNOWN
Thursday, May 28, 2009
WHERE WE LIVE FRIDAY!!! (KYLEE'S ROOM)
THIS IS KYLEE GRACE'S ROOM, I ALSO LOVE IT VERY MUCH, AND OFTEN JUST GO IN IT TO LOOK AT IT, I LOVE TO DECORATE AND HAVING MY TWO GIRLS HAS DEFINITELY GIVEN ME THAT OPPORTUNITY. KYLEE LOVE'S HERE ROOM AND ALL THE CHILDREN THAT SEE IT LOVE IT TOO. IT'S A LITTLE CASTLE FOR MY PRINCESS.
WHERE WE LIVE FRIDAY!!! (KAYLOR'S ROOM)
KAYLOR GEM'S ROOM AND CLOSET ARE SO AWESOME, I LOVE HER ROOM SO MUCH, THAT I FIND MYSELF GOING IN THERE JUST TO LOOK AT IT. I HOPE SHE LIKES IT AS MUCH AS I DO WHEN SHE GETS A LITTLE OLDER.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
2 YEARS AGO TODAY WE BURIED MY DAD
2 YEARS AGO TODAY ME, MY HUBBY, AND BROTHER WERE IN MUNISING MICHIGAN LAYING MY FATHER TO REST BESIDE HIS MOTHER IN HIS HOME TOWN. I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE THAT HE IS GONE. I WAS JUST TELLING MY HUSBAND THAT I REMEMBER LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY THAT HE WOULD MAKE ME COCO PEBBLES AND TOAST BEFORE I WENT TO SCHOOL AND SOMETIMES HE WOULD GET ME WENDY'S BISCUIT AND GRAVY WITH BACON ON THE SIDE. OOH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, I WISH SO BADLY THAT HE COULD BE HERE TO SEE MY CHILDREN AND TO HUG AND KISS HIM. I AM VERY GLAD THOUGH THAT HE DID GET TO SPEND TIME WITH MY OLDEST DAUGHTER KYLEE. THE DAY I GOT HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL AFTER HAVING HER, HIM AND HIS WIFE CAME OVER AND MADE ME HOME MADE DINNERS TO EAT ON FOR A WEEK. HE HELD KYLEE EVER SO GENTLY AND KISSED ALL OVER HER, I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT SMILE HE HAD, HE WAS SO VERY PROUD. HIS LOVE WAS LIKE NONE OTHER, I ONLY HOPE THAT MY TWO GIRLS FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT THERE FATHER AND THAT THEY HAVE THE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM AS I DID WITH MY DAD. A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO KYLEE WAS RIDING HER 3 WHEELER IN THE HOUSE AND I NOTICED THE PICTURE OF MY DAD WAS NOT IN THE FRAME. SO I QUESTIONED HER ABOUT IT, THANK GOODNESS I HELD MY TONGUE BECAUSE SHE LOOKED AT ME WITH THE MOST ADORABLE FACE AND SAID "UMPA IS IN THE TRUNK OF MY WHEELER" I SAID WHY AND SHE LOOKED UP AND SAID "HE WANTED TO GO RIDING WITH ME. PRECIOUS MOMENTS LIKE THAT MAKE ME REALIZE HOW AMAZING GOD IS AND HOW MUCH HE TOUCHES ARE LIVES (EVEN IN SMALL WAYS) ALL THE TIME. KYLEE WAS ONLY 9 MONTHS OLD WHEN MY DAD PASSED AWAY, I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE STILL REMEMBERS HIM THE WAY THAT SHE DOES BUT I AM SO THANKFUL FOR IT. AS MY DAD ALWAYS USED TO SAY "GOD IS GOOD EVERDAY".
Sunday, May 17, 2009
HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY KALEB!!!
Friday, May 15, 2009
PICTURES OF MY AMAZING FATHER!!
